Cardiac Stress Test

On Thursday I had a slew of doctor's appointments.  Jonathan and Nolan have asked that I don't post the details of them on my blog because they don't wish to relive the post procedure discussions ever again!  I can honor that request, at least most of it!  One test I had was a cardiac stress test.  It was the biggest disappointment!  Somehow I'd thought that the treadmill cardiac stress test involved running at a ridiculously high rate of speed for as long as one was physically able until the subject reached the point of collapse.  Let it be known that based on my conception of this test, I was a bit nervous, to say the least.  So I followed the directions I received and brought shorts, a t-shirt, "appropriate shoes", and a "non-underwire supportive bra" and presented myself at the appointed time for the treadmill test.  I was wearing jeans, 3" wedges, and a shirt.  First they had me undress from the waist up and put on a gown opening in the front.  Then they took my blood pressure about a million times and attached a dozen or so "lead pads" all over my chest and hooked me up to a bunch of wired that I attached to a device that they strapped to my waist.  Next the doctor came in and told me to get on the treadmill.  Keep in mind that all I am wearing is my jeans (and they are wide legged, long length trouser jeans that I would surely trip over and die if I wore them while running on a treadmill).  So I asked the doctor if I could at least put on my running shoes.  He let me, so I put on my shoes (who wants to be barefoot in a medical clinic anyway?) and pegged and rolled up my jeans and got on the treadmill wearing nothing but my shoes, my jeans, the leads and a medical gown.  Since I wasn't wearing anything "supportive" I was not looking forward to running.  The doctor explained that the treadmill would start at a dinosaur pace then increase in speed and incline until I hit my calculated "maximum heart rate".  So there I am walking nowhere with this hospital gown on that won't stay put.  I'm trying to keep myself "covered" while walking up at 14% grade at 3.4 mph and maintaining stupid chit chat with the doctor as he is regularly taking my blood pressure, and the transmitting thing they strapped to my waist is bouncing uncomfortably up and down with even step I take.  It was ridiculous.  It wasn't hard, I didn't have to exercise to the "drop dead" point.  It was actually a pretty ridiculous scene.  About 7.5 minutes after the test started I maxed out my heart rate, but the doctor decided to not end the test then; he wanted to see if I could exceed my "maximum heart rate".  So I kept going and shortly thereafter I did exceed my "MHR" and then the doctor ended the test and pronounced me "totally regular".  Two minutes later he retook my blood pressure, pronounced that I had returned to "normal" and left the room.  The nurse unstrapped the transmitting device and unhooked me from the wires, then told me to leave the gown on the table, unstick and throw away all the lead pads, and to get dressed and head out.

So the test was simplistic compared to how I'd misconceived it.  The "appropriate clothing" for the test was unnecessary.  The actual test with all it's components (my dress, the flopping transmitter, the chit chat, the blood pressure taking, etc) was comedic.  My final assessment of it is that for a woman, it's a strange situation.

(According to Blogger, every word in this post is misspelled.  Every word has a red line beneath it.  I guess I'm going to have to rely on my awesome proofreading and spelling skill to check this post)