Relationships

Yesterday I was having a pity party for myself. Somehow, I got thinking about how I have not maintained contact with of my grade school/high school/hometown friends. Then I started thinking about how few people from PG I keep in touch with (and we lived there for 12 years and only moved a year ago). I thought about the relationships I've had that have ended because they weren't easy to maintain/mutually beneficial. I thought about the people who I stopped sending Christmas cards to because they never returned the greeting or they moved and never bothered to send a forwarding address. I started wondering WHAT IS MY PROBLEM? Am I toxic? Am I demanding? Do I not value people? Then I flipped the question... What is their problem? Are they the toxic one? Are they demanding? Do they not value me? I've been left to conclude that not all relationships are going to be life-long. As a matter of fact, most relationships have a purpose, and when that purpose is fulfilled, we outgrown those relationships is the search for "something more". Does that sound cynical? Not everyone grows at the same pace, so when I am the one left behind, I feel bad; but how many times have I been the one to leave another behind. I'm reminded of a relationship I had back in the U of U days. I really liked Becky. I never truly felt that she valued me as much as I valued her. We hung out with our kids at the playground. We occasionally visited each other in our homes. I moved. She moved. End of story. I'm okay with that. Looking back, our only real connection was we both were married to students and had babies the same age. I'm grateful to have known Becky and look back at our relationship with happy memories. I need to remember the good instead dwelling on the "what happened" when relationships dry up. I need to value the relationships I have.